1. |
Need
03:43
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I take my place
You take the room
And I feel the rush I told myself was too good to be true
Is it a taste for you
It’s in my veins
It’s running through
Thought I knew the pain of wanting more
Until I met you
Now I don’t know what to do
Meet you there this rounds on me
I know the talk is cheap
But here I am for free
I’ve never been one for reality
If you can learn to love that
You can learn to love me
I can give you what you need
Come take what you need
You got my back to the bar girl
Don’t you wait another minute
To show me who you are
What’s in your world
what’s in your heart
Or are you scared
Cause it’s your move
are you gonna stand there waiting
to try all the things you want to
While I drink every drop of you
Meet you there this rounds on me
I know the talk is cheap
But here I am for free
I’ve never been one for reality
If you can learn to love that
You can learn to love me
I can give you what you need
Come take what you need
What you need
Come take what you need
I can give you what you need
Come take what you need
What you need
Come take what you need
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2. |
Mirror
02:47
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Couldn't tell you how I knew it
Something about the breath you take
And there is no way to undo it
No way to make a heart unbreak
And sometimes I think about it
And sometimes I can't recall
But there is no way around it
The writing I see on the wall
Mirror mirror
Nothing is clearer
If I can't see her
I can't believe her
Lover lover
Just like the others
It's funny what a reflection uncovers
Your deception's hesitation
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Image of the mess you make
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
My questions lead to complications
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Confessions that you can't escape
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
And sometimes it's all forgotten
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
And sometimes I can't be sure
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
But there is no way around it
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
When I keep coming back for more
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Mirror mirror
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Nothing is clearer
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
If I can't see her
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
I can't believe her
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Lover lover
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Just like the others
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
It's funny what a reflection uncovers
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Don’t want to be away from love
Don't want to stay just for your love
If I can't see her
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
I can't believe her
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Lover lover
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
Just like the others
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
It's funny what a reflection uncovers
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
(You gotta learn to let go, you gotta learn to let it go)
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3. |
Under My Skin
03:24
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Turning over
I’m wake til the morning
Don’t hold me like you love me now
While you do what you do
Thinking over
Every dream cries a warning
Your embrace feels so lonely now
But it’s what I’m used to
Feeling your arms
Pulling me in
Sounding my alarms
Before we begin
To play the game I know I can’t win
It’s there in your eyes
It’s under my skin
Baby don’t bite
Don’t hold my breath in
Then say you wonder why
I’ve been the way I’ve been
We’re playing all over again
It’s there in your eyes
It’s under my skin
So go now go love go in search of the things you can carry through
But one thing that we have in common is how we hold hate
Sitting there waiting to say what the other already knew
Somehow I don’t think I’m the last one that you’ll chase away
Feeling your arms
Pulling me in
Sounding my alarms
Before we begin
To play the game I know I can’t win
It’s there in your eyes
It’s under my skin
Baby don’t bite
Don’t hold my breath in
Then say you wonder why
I’ve been the way I’ve been
We’re playing all over again
It’s there in your eyes
It’s under my skin
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4. |
Come Around
02:58
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When you come 'round
I won't stop, won't make a sound
Won't lead you to believe I wanna be found
Oh, while your feet are planted on the ground
I'm running for a reason
You're praying for doubt
Hold tight, wait
Until I take the bait
The love that you use to hold your hate
You can try again
In case it's not too late
To make me wish I never knew you this way
Truth becomes what you make it
when you come around
Silence goes where you take it
Don't you come around
Oh my my don't run cause you can hide
Insane thing wearing a sane disguise
Tears on command I see it in your eyes
We fall into a rhythm I recognize
Round listen round
Don't stop until you've found
A beat to build up and break it down
Run your mouth,
It's gotta be about
Somebody who won't love you
And wants a way out
Truth becomes what you make it
when you come around
Silence goes where you take it
Don't you come around
Gone be love no don't say why
Gone is the day of hope and lie
Holding onto me till the seas gone dry
Gone be you oh broken tide
Gone be love no don't say why
Gone is the day of hope and lie
Holding onto me till the seas gone dry
Gone be you oh broken tide
Truth becomes what you make it
when you come around
Silence goes where you take it
Don't you come around
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5. |
Movie Queen
03:12
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I can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders
And I've never been known for my grace
Light a cigarette breathe it in let it smoulder
And keep me warm as the spotlight fades
Lately I'm
Spinning out like a movie queen
Up all night
Playing dead on a tv screen
Oh why
Fake the smile of a beauty queen?
I'll be alright
All I need is a change of scene
In winter you could play the muse inside my head
Even in the times you let me down
And still I played your Jezebel in satin red
We'll see how far redemption gets you now
Lately I'm
Spinning out like a movie queen
Up all night
Playing dead on a tv screen
Oh why
Fake the smile of a beauty queen?
I'll be alright
All I need is a change of scene
Lately I'm
Spinning out like a movie queen
Up all night
Playing dead on a tv screen
Oh why
Fake the smile of a beauty queen?
I'll be alright
All I need is a change of scene
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6. |
Know by Now
02:52
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Hey there where have you gone
Cause the days get colder as the time goes on
And I wonder if you called my name would I run to you could I face your pain
Is it easy to run away
Or is this the way your love plays out
Well you should know by now
Hey you with the broken heart
Can’t finish anything that you said you’d start
Well I wonder if the things you do take away from the things you are
I don’t know what you’re missing
That can’t be found
Well you should know by now
Yes you should know by now
I don’t know what you’re missing
That can’t be found
Well you should know by now
Yes you should know by now
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7. |
Epitaph (interlude)
01:24
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Skin and bone
Are you hungry now
I’ve given all I’ll give
In stone
Carve your epitaph
Knowing that you’ll live
Who’s gonna make this feeling go away
Saint at the end of the world
In the words you pray
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8. |
Going Under
03:28
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Wish I could sleep until the storm I sail
Has left me something better
Than what I have come to know
I wanna hear the wind that sings
the song of you my love fair weather
And how you've learned to come and go
Every time I feel love
I fight the feeling I'm going under
I fear what I'm made of
Won't get me through to the other side
And you're what I dream of
When I get the feeling I'm going under
I can't help but worry I won't wake
After I close my eyes
Are you spared from the ever-changing tides,
The taste of salt upon your skin,
The restless sky reflecting black and blue?
Are you anchored where the waves subside,
or cap-sized in your own oblivion?
Calling to homeland while the sirens call to you
Every time I feel love
I fight the feeling I'm going under
I fear what I'm made of
Won't get me through to the other side
And you're what I dream of
When I get the feeling I'm going under
I can't help but worry I won't wake
After I close my eyes
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9. |
Lullaby
03:06
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I wish I could
Make sense of it all for you lately
All these lessons of lifetimes
Moving faster than I can
And somehow you know
That there is nothing I’ll show you
You can’t learn on the 80
But in the battles of bedtime
Lay your head down in my hand
All I have is a lullaby
When you wake in the evening sun
Mama’s gone and you don’t know why
Much is unknown oh little one
She’ll be back darling don’t you cry
She comes home when the day is done
Feels like everyone’s passing by
Feels like every old songs been sung
And on every stroll
you stop at every leaf on the ground,
Every feather
Until mount royal’s your cradle
Shade, your blanket of sleep in the afternoon
It’s like you know that everything I see you can dream better
So tell your shadows I’m grateful
Thank your darkness for me
Where the light shines through
All I have is a lullaby
When you wake in the evening sun
Mama’s gone and you don’t know why
Much is unknown oh little one
She’ll be back darling don’t you cry
She comes home when the day is done
Feels like everyone’s passing by
Feels like every old songs been sung
Yes I’ll leave you this lullaby
Cause I leave in the evening sun
When I’m gone baby don’t ask why
Much is unknown oh little one
I’ll be back darling don’t you cry
I’ll be home when the summer has come
Somehow too much and never enough time
Every old song’s been sung
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Russell Louder Montreal, Québec
Russell Louder is a trans Performance Artist and musician from Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, now based in Montreal, Québec.
(pronoun: they/them/their)
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