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Humor

by Russell Louder

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Includes unlimited streaming of Humor via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Home 03:24
How did I come to stay This isn't what I'm used to What words can I unsay When they all came from you I know I'm not the only one Who had to run away But I've tamed myself to know What I shouldn't do Finding home Finding home And where does this road begin 'Cause I've been wandering Too far for far too long Can't get air with my breath breaking I can feel my chest cave in Still my heart's holding on And I don't want to talk about love 'Cause the one I'm dreaming of Is somehow here and gone Finding home Finding home Ooh- where does this road begin? ‘Cause I've been wandering Too far for far too long And you- you're gonna do me in Where have you been? Where will I find you trying to hold on? Finding home Finding home
2.
Held by air An hour before dawn I knew you'd find me there Too tired to carry on another night, I swear It's not the way I thought I'd get your care Because when I dwell, The bass strings in my chest break where your cold hand fell Don't wish me all the best when I can't wish you well I'm trying to shake the stories I can't tell And tell me now, Could this be the cost of living Trying to drown it out To forget without forgiving And I wonder now Because I'm trying to stay aware How could I be hiding If I know you'll find me there Heavy tears Or scattered coins in rain What have I earned this year The seasons feel the same, seasons of shame my dear I'm trying to find the sunshine if it's near In light of day, The shadows in your eyes will never fade away They're veiled by the disguise of all the things you say I'm trying to find the strength to look away, now And tell me now Could this be the cost of living Trying to drown it out To forget without forgiving And I wonder now Because I'm trying to stay aware How could I be hiding If I know you'll find me there
3.
He looks to you And understands your constrain I see right through His shadows are all the same What's left to live up to When everyone knows his shame Am I the fool for warning you all the same Now you're walking in the middle of dusk and dawn Will you carry on Or will you be gone How far will the heart go to see beyond What's been holding on Light of the moon The dark is now closing around you And it's coming too soon It's not taking its time to surround you Don't fall for it now Don't turn where there's no one to look to And now if you come ‘round I hope you're not bound by what got to you Do you know fear? Do you know what questions burn? Do you know tears? Or the seasons of rain he's earned? And is what you dread So different from what he yearns? Don’t run ahead When you don't know where to turn Now you're walking in the middle of dusk and dawn Will you carry on Or will you be gone How far will the heart go to see beyond What's been holding on Light of the moon The dark is now closing around you And it's coming too soon It's not taking its time to surround you Don't fall for it now Don't turn where there's no one to look to And now if you come ‘round I hope you're not bound by what got to you
4.
Vow 03:53
Now I’m through Falling under the wheels you turn Turn on me talk my love now Tell me of all the things you’ll do Never knew How to move past the bridge I burned See these embers, they are my vow Won’t be found where you’re going to Keep your time ‘Cause mine is gone and taken Yet I can’t find where it begins And even though the hands of memory circle my skin Keep your time ‘Cause mine is gone and taken Now I’m through Falling under the wheels you turn Turn on me talk my love now Tell me of all the things you’ll do Never knew How to move past the bridge I burned See these embers, they are my vow Won’t be found where you’re going to Keep your smoke and mirrors I don’t need to break them This is not a place for magic anymore And every word you spoke becomes a fragment on the floor Keep your smoke and mirrors I don’t need to break them Now I’m through Falling under the wheels you turn Turn on me talk my love now Tell me of all the things you’ll do Never knew How to move past the bridge I burned See these embers, they are my vow Won’t be found where you’re going to Keep your voice From where my heart can hear it It’s your own choice that’s gone and let you down And now your echo rings to me much sweeter than your sound Keep your voice from where my heart can hear it Now I’m through Falling under the wheels you turn Turn on me talk my love now Tell me of all the things you’ll do Never knew How to move past the bridge I burned See these embers, they are my vow Won’t be found where you’re going to
5.
Outside 03:52
Found a feeling when I saw your face We'd both lived long in an unsafe place but I loved you Here I love you now Now you're ripping at the seams and you're sounding mad Now a shadow's in my dreams like the one you had And turn into now So if this is goodbye then I want you to know That your pain cuts deep and I can't let go Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh You won’t hear what I say you won’t come out of hiding It hurts too much from the outside-in It hurts too much from the outside-in All the time you could take All the years gone by I’m tired of the wait You’re fighting fears in a fable I can’t stand it anymore I’m wiping tears from the table You’re fighting fears in a fable I can’t stand it anymore I’m wiping tears from the table I can’t stand it anymore I’m wiping tears from the table I can’t stand it anymore I’m wiping tears from the table
6.
Are you someone I once knew Do you hide the way that I do Or are you a stranger Do you run the way I would But do you fight the way I wish I could Or are you a stranger Hello stranger You're where I stood Hello stranger You're where I stood And I know what you call upon, What you need to help you carry on, Stranger And will that end when you begin, The losing game you tell yourself you win Until you’re a stranger Hello stanger, How have you been Hello stranger How have you been Hello stranger How have you been When you play away your shame, Will your word still carry on my name Or are you just a stranger Hello stranger You look the same Hello stranger You look the same Hello stranger You look the same Hello stranger You look the same Hello stranger You look the same
7.
What should I make Of the constant turns you take All the twists of your storm Quiet as moonlight And here we burn slow And now the days are getting old for you I know And they close around you Waiting for midnight And I know your heart I see the pain you can’t undo I’ve played this part I know the game It’s nothing new And when you depart the hate you claim will run right through You know it will run through And if I followed your call Would my back be against the wall again Where do you draw the line Between the quiet and the end And the muses are they screaming your name? Do you refuse them all the same? Are you undone? Do you pretend to know the pain? I know your heart I see the pain you can’t undo I’ve played this part I know the game It’s nothing new And when you depart the hate you claim will run right through You know it will run through
8.
Lavender 03:20
Ooh, The time is quickly fading With the words you say Will you just be a memory waiting To come and haunt me with the ghost of yesterday? I - I’ve learned to go before I try to stay And I - I know how a heavy heart leaves Not like the ones who wait and still get swept away Lavender burning so slow Stillness how sweet the allure in the fields that you grow She’s falling faster than she thinks I know How can I run from her with nowhere to go Ooh, The time is quickly fading With the words you say And you you’ll be a memory waiting To come and haunt me with the ghost of yesterday I - I hope I’m gone before I try to stay I know how a heavy heart leaves Not like the ones who wait and still get swept away Lavender burning so slow How sweet the allure in all that I won’t show I’m falling faster than I think she knows How can I run from her with nowhere to go
9.
Go Now 02:08
Oh my love Where did you go Was there too much in my head to keep you close And the more I think about it The less I seem to know And now I sit here waiting for the day you come back home Ouh, ouh, ouh Oh my love What do you see When you catch me breaking the waves I shouldn't be You want me to explain myself But I don't have the need Between us I'm just looking for a reason to be free Go now Go now Go now Go now Go now Go now Go now Go now

credits

released February 26, 2021

All songs written and performed by Russell Louder

Drums on "Lavender": Steeven Chouinard
Percussion on "Vow": Morgan O’ Leary
Fender Rhodes on "Know the Game" and "Outside": Julien Manaud

Recording by Russell Louder @ Home & Steeven Chouinard @ No Control Room Studio
Mixing by Julien Manaud @ Monorama Studio
Mastering by Richard Addisson @ Trillium Studio

Picture by Christine Turek
Graphic design by Manon Soules

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Russell Louder Montreal, Québec

Russell Louder is a trans Performance Artist and musician from Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, now based in Montreal, Québec.

(pronoun: they/them/their)

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